Zoo Eggs Adventure

An easy way to make your life more exciting is to visit the zoo. It's costly, but worth it. Last time I went was about an hour before closing. Plenty of time. I carried a dummy head around with me and took pictures of myself next to the animals. I got some VERY strange looks, and pissed of an antelope, but it was worth it. Unfortunately, all those pictures were accidentally deleted. Too bad though.

Fortunately, I found some random eggs on the ground. I think they were peacock eggs, cause peahens were the only birds I could see out of their cages. I easily snuck the eggs home and feeling inspired by Drew, I decided to cook them up.

Just like real eggs, they cooked quickly. But whatever they were, they tasted bland so I fed them to my dog. They didn't make me sick or anything, like some people said they would do.

So if you're bored, go to the zoo. Cause some chaos. Take home some food.

Hope you learned something.
-M. Tekel

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EXEXCRED'S Guide to an MRE

When my friend Kyle and I went dumpster diving, we found a MRE nestled between some empty pizza boxes. MRE stands for Meal Ready-to-Eat, which is basically a portable lunch box that cooks itself. The military has some awesome stuff sometimes. Who knows why someone would ditch it. It was perfectly fine.
Since I've never eaten one before, and I suspect you haven't either, I decided to document what it was like eating food that cooks itself. We did this at four in the morning, right before a final and threw the wrappers out the sixth story window. Why not?
My first reaction, was how did all this fit in there? A general rundown includes beefsteak with mushroom sauce, wild cooked beans, dehydrated coffee, a dehydrated milkshake, crackers and jam, candy and a package of condiments.
I ate the crackers first. They were unsalted, bland but not bad. The blackberry jam was pretty sick tho.
I opened the candy and found tootsie rolls. I didn't expect that.
The dairyshake was pretty easy to make, just add water, but I didn't do it exactly right with the shaking. It tasted alright, but not sweet. The random chunks were gross in texture.
The coffee tasted authentic, but I ended up throwing it out the window after a sip. Why not?
According to Kyle, the beans were amazing. I did not try them as they looked like cockroach puree.
There was some gum, which was like normal gum. I also spat it out the window when it lost its flavor.
Finally, there was the steak. It was not bad. The flavor was weird, unlike any beefsteak I've ever had, and the texture was rancid. It was interesting tho, and I think if I was in the middle of Afghanistan I would not complain so much. But I am not. I am in a college dorm, littering out the window.

Hope you learned something.
M. Tekel










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