Adventures in College Dumpster Diving

Adventures in College Dumpster Diving

Here is a secret.
Any good diver knows that college campuses are the best place to scavenge, especially during the beginning and end of semesters. This is because college students throw away EVERYTHING. Here is what my friend Kyle and I found at the end of this semester:

On our first night, we came back with literally a dorm room worth of stuff. Never mind that dorm rooms are small. We found two half-full bottles of laundry detergent, a floor-lamp that matches ours, a laundry basket, an intact copy of Dookie by Greenday, a Fight Club poster, two ironing boards, several computer games, a stapler, a few textbooks and a several stacks of magazines. We also found a backpack full of clothes that were in perfect condition.

We took some things to a used bookstore for credit; anything they couldn't buy we took to a thrift store and donated.

They say you can learn a lot about what people throw away, and so I did, but does anyone really care? The Christian journal that was empty, the dozens of empty Vodka bottles, the bent photographs, the smashed piano.

The next night we found an entire garbage bag of illustration board, some cheap paints and even a drawing board. It's sad because some students will take an art class, probably for fun, and then throw away all their materials. I mean, I don't let art confine me to a classroom or a semester or anything. Art should be created as often as inspiration allows. These types of people just gave up on it. But on second thought, after looking through their sketchbooks, maybe that's a good thing.

The third night, we brought along a friend who found a laundry bag full of expensive jeans and some empty beer bottles. I don't know what is more odd that someone would throw away half a dozen $80 pairs of pants or that the Corona Light bottles that were wrapped in them. We accidentally smashed one and a police officer heard us. He asked what we were doing, so we told him, recycling by dumpster diving. That's right, I played the environmental card. He told us to not make a mess and left us alone. For once, a cop wasn't a dick to us.

Next, we found an entire library of old vinyl records. Some were missing discs, but most were intact and inside, some even unopened. We uncovered some fans, a few boxes of incense, some tea, baskets and several photos. We also found a Meal Ready to Eat and three large rugs. We found a stamp that has Kenny from South Park on it and a couple highlighters and two ties.

We ran into three other people who were also dumpster diving. Their hands were empty and we were trying to juggle a laundry basket crammed with a hair straightener, some notebooks, a VCR, and a golf bag. They claimed we were way more thorough. Well, duh.

We told them, the thing about dumpster diving is you can't really just look on the surface. Often you have to get your hands dirty and jump inside. That's how we found the NAU backpacks, then the pillowcase inside and the crackpipe and bong inside that. Lift a few trashbags and you'll find someone's stash of prescription pills or a case of beer. Students throw this out because their parents are coming to pick them up and they can't afford to keep it. The rest is thrown out because they're wasteful little children.

The group we talked to didn't seem that interested in jumping inside, but then again they left with nothing.

Kyle plans on having a yardsale this summer and splitting the profits with me. I'll post the results as soon as I get them. In the meantime, I hope you can use this brief example as a guide for enhancing your college experience.

Hope you learned something.
M. Tekel